Sometimes, we just need to remember what the Rules of Life really are:

#1 You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape.
If it doesn't move and it should, use the WD-40.
If it shouldn't move and it does, use the duct tape.

#2 Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

#3 Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.

#4 If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.

#5 No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.